Of PF Chang’s and Fortune Cookies


So I’ve decided that I’m no longer going to eat at PF Chang’s China Bistro. I think their food is pretty tasty, but every time I eat there, I get sick. Sick as in I have to spend a lot of time reading in the bathroom. Not only that, I always get the most disgusting tasting/smelling burps after eating there. If I don’t wait enough time in between visits, I can actually taste elements of the disgusting burps in the food I’m eating. Yes, it’s revolting and nauseating.

A quick poll around the office here showed me that I’m not alone in getting sick. Four other people reported that they’ve experienced similar bodily reactions to the decidedly non-Chinese food served at this so-called Chinese restaurant.

While I’m thinking about Chinese restaurants, I wanted to talk about fortune cookies. I’ve found that a lot of people have funny habits when it comes to fortune cookies. For example, many people like to add the words “in bed” to the end of their fortune.

I picked up an odd superstition (I think from my wife, Linda) that in order for the fortune to come true, you must eat the entire fortune cookie before reading the fortune. In my most recent visit to PF Chang’s I decided to add to this superstition. If you’ve eaten the cookie and then you read the fortune and you don’t like the fortune, you can reduce the chance of the fortune coming true by getting the fortune as close to being back inside the cookie as possible. Since you’ve already eaten the cookie, this means you must now eat the fortune paper.

Now I know what you might be thinking, “Clark, you idiot! No wonder you got sick. You ate the fortune paper.” Well, that might be true, but of all the times I’ve ever eaten at the Chang’s, I’ve gotten sick, and this is the only time I’ve eaten the paper; therefore, my highly scientific brain tells me that your paper theory is wrong.

One last thought: I hate it when a so-called fortune cookie turns out not to be a “fortune” cookie at all. In other words, the piece of paper has words of advice on it, or tells you one of your personality traits. Wouldn’t this make them advice cookies or personality cookies? Listen all Chinese restaurants and fortune cookie chefs: If I want my treats to give me advice or tell me things other than my future, I’ll buy some of those little candy hearts or some individually wrapped Dove chocolates. But when I eat a FORTUNE cookie, that little piece of paper inside better vaguely predict my future or be a one million dollar bill folded up really small. Either of those are acceptable fortunes. All others are not!

Blog Poll:
1. Do you get sick when eating at PF Chang’s or any other restaurant?
2. Do you have any weird habits or superstitions that go along with fortune cookies?

Linda Winegar

My greatest blessings call me Mom.