My Sleeping Baby
Finn is a great sleeper! But today for some reason I had the feeling to read up on SIDS and I have been reading a ton of sad stories about parents who no longer have their little babies because they died in their sleep. Breaks my heart. If you remember in this most recent General Conference there were also a few stories shared of babies who have died. It could have been to help those through their trials but I feel it was a warning too. Yes, I know I am crazy for making myself cry from just thinking about what could happen to my little Finny if I don't take good care of him. But I just felt like I needed to read more about it and become really aware of the dangers of how they sleep. We as parents are entrusted with these little sweethearts who can not do for themselves just yet. So, we have to protect them and give them lots of loving. Here's a list where you can read stories for yourself if you need a little help being just a bit more safe and a bit more careful with your babies. I'm also posting it for myself so that I can be reminded to be a better mom. Read the stories if you're not a "text book, and stats" kind of person.- SIDS Network - Lots of stories.
- First Candle - Great instruction and documents on what to do to be safe. Their Forum has some seriously sad things too, but the moms tell you how guilty they feel.
- Create a Safe Sleep Zone
Now...lets get something straight, I know that those babies who have passed, are safe and with Heavenly Father right now. And if their families do what is right and were sealed in the Temple they will all be reunited one day. Personally, I feel that those babies were too special to remain here on Earth and they have a higher calling and therefore just needed to come down and receive their mortal bodies to pass this portion of their test.
I want to point out that this is in no way trying to make mothers feel guilty. If your child's time is cut short here on earth it would make it much easier to cope with the loss if you knew you did everything to prevent it. That is the reason why I am posting about this because I read that so many mothers feel the guilt really badly. Do all that you can to prevent it and if you did do all that you could and your baby still passes, then you won't feel as guilty. Sure, any mother or parent would feel guilty, but not the the same degree. I just ache for those families who have lost their little ones temporarily and if this ever happens to us...I'll have to remind myself of these personal truths and try really hard not to feel guilty. I can't even imagine!
Boppy:
I am definitely guilty of letting Finn sleep on the Boppy. We've been lucky enough not to have had any bad experiences with this, however they don't put the "may cause death" on the tag for nothing. It's there to help us keep our babies safe, not to keep us from our sanity. So, I am no longer letting him sleep on his boppy. Here's the link where you can read proof of this.
Blankies:
Finn loves to sleep with a ton of blankets and until today I have had probably 4 blankets (1 used to swaddle him, 2 on either side, one over the top of him) in his bed while he sleeps. NOT GOOD!!! He could have for sure gotten heat stroke or something. I have sometimes found him under his top blanket. :( I am the worst mom ever! You know the attitude I had was, "well if it helps him sleep better then I'll do it cause then it'll help me sleep better." But I am pretty sure I would never be able to sleep again if something bad happened to him because I "needed" my sleep. I just watch him all day anyways...who cares if I lose sleep, right! It's worth it to keep him alive and gurgling!
Back Sleeper:
Infant deaths related to SIDS have been reduced by 50% since they came out with the idea of sleeping on the back. Everybody says they keep going back and forth but I bet you'd feel even guiltier if you didn't do what "they" said you needed to do during that time. If they change it again, it's for a reason! So, I always put Finn on his back at night, every night until they tell me to switch, but he sure loves his side and on the boppy for naps. I guess they say side sleep is bad cause they could accidentally roll onto their stomach. So 2 no-nos. Wow...really, I promise I am trying to be a good Mom but I guess you just end up doing things if they "work." So no more, boppy sleeping and no more sleeping on his side. Poor Finn he's going to be sad, but it's okay, cause at least he'll be here with me and I can make him happy.
Crib or Grown up Bed:
Seriously, I know this is hard. Especially if you're breastfeeding. It's so tempting when you're half asleep to just bring your little baby into the gown up bed. I mean...you'll take even better care of your baby if they are closer to you right? Well, these parents thought it was perfectly safe but their little babies are no longer with them. So Sad!!! I am so thankful that he is still safe. I only brought Finn into our bed once for a nap because I was so tired. I didn't even get to nap, because I was afraid something bad would happen. It's just better to be safe! Put your baby in their crib or bassinet to sleep or nap, after all that's why you got those things in the first place. Yes, the couch is also bad.
Seriously, all of us Moms have to help each other out. Just read the sad stories and you'll know that nothing is worth it. It's always better to be safe than sorry. They all say they wished they could start over. Just do what you can to keep your child safe and if they are taken from us before we are ready, (I don't think we'll ever be "ready") then at least we will not feel as guilty. Because we all know that we will be super hard on ourselves if anything were to happen, this will just help us feel more at peace and others will also know that we did our very very best.
So, to my family members, I'm sorry I didn't really know I was putting our little Finn at risk everyday, but now I know and so he'll be safer and I'll sleep better knowing that I am not putting him at risk. But I must also put here that I know it's not my will but The Lord's will which will be done.
Oh and I don't know the conference talks which talked about the babies but feel free to comment and let me know specifically which ones they were.
This is great! I have such a fear about someone not putting my babies to sleep on their backs that I do not leave them until they can roll over. We let Jess sleep with us but Hayden never has. It's more work to do it right but they are worth it.
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